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08/02/2002: feelings of fannish inadequacy
I've never really thought that I cared less deeply (or maybe obsessively) about a source than the average fan. But since I started to get more into Farscape fandom I've begun to wonder.
I mean, I love this show. It's my favorite sf show ever, but -- usually I only watch each episode once or maybe twice when it first airs, I don't replay parts in slow motion, I don't get all the pop cultural and other references... And while I enjoy in-depth show discussion on lists like Wormhole and sometimes like reading the detailed analyses by cofax, Maayan, Fialka, and others, I just don't think about these kinds of details so much. I see the 20kb posts and entries about the new episodes and my first reaction is kinda *gulp!* how am I supposed to say anything about an ep? and I stay in a sort of intimidated silence. Well, it's not 'intimidated' exactly, it's more that for me watching a favorite show doesn't seem to work quite the same way. I enjoy details in a more general sense, when it's about the universe and how it works, I just don't get into that sort of detail when thinking about an episode. I don't think of episodes in terms of symbolism or motifs, nor do I have a detailed theory/view on characters and their actions in my head that I adjust every week.
So I've been wondering: Am I not obsessive enough about this show I like? Am I maybe closer to a casual viewer than a 'true' fan in my attitudes and only think of myself as a Farscape fan by the way of some misconception?
