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06/02/2003: nightmares
This nap I was talking about earlier? I had a nightmare, about rats and sinking into mud, immobilized.
In the rat part it weren't the rats as such who were scary, as I usually dream about rats as pets, but my treatment of them. In RL I haven't had rats for several years now, but in this dream, I just had somehow forgotten about them. Or hadn't cared anymore, I'm not sure, but anyway in the dream my last two rats had somehow managed to survive, though I had forgotten about them (in RL I had to let them be put to sleep because of cancer). I think I still might have given them food now and then, but I just didn't pay attention to them or spend time with them, or was really aware that they were still alive and needing my care.
So somehow my last two rats had survived, and they had managed to have young, and now those had litters too. I figured somehow they must have hooked up with a male rat from outside. So there were now several young adult rats, and more really little rats, and of course they were adorable, as young rats are, agile, curious, with really soft fur, and cute faces, but at least the young adult rats were also somewhat shy and suspicious, because they didn't have enough human contact in their formative period, and they didn't have an adequate cage, or place to live. And I felt just totally awful that I had all forgotten about the rats, and then freaked out, that now I had so many rats running around and noticing them for the first time in a long while. So my plan was to catch them, to sort them into two cages, one for the males and one for the females, so they wouldn't get pregnant once again, but they didn't want to be caught or separated from each other, and they struggled and scratched each time I wanted to check their genitalia to figure out their sexes, and I didn't have real cages to put them into, so I tried boxes with lids, but they kept on escaping, and I was getting more desperate and worried about what I was supposed to do with all those rats, and I felt worse and worse for having forgotten about them, especially when I found weaker ones, which hadn't been faring so well left to their own devices. And the older rat, one of my original rats I found, was ridiculously grateful that I noticed her once again and greeted me (though actually in RL that particular rat was never that much attached to me), and I felt even more like shit for neglecting her. Thankfully I woke up soon after that.
The sinking in mud part happened earlier, I don't remember many details, but the basic plot was something like: I was late for some course at the university, and somehow fell down a slope getting stuck up to my hips in mud, and was yelling for help, which for some reason took a long time getting there, I think they couldn't figure out how to get down to be without being stuck themselves. Finally somehow I managed to get out of there on my own, but my trousers remained stuck, so I arrived in class late, muddy, and with some kind of cloth or blanket wrapped around me instead of trousers. Surprisingly that part wasn't terribly embarrassing, it was the being stuck in mud part that was scary and nightmarish. Not as bad as the later rat part of the dream though. Oh, and somehow while being stuck in mud I noticed some of the rats for the first time, who were curious about me as I was stuck (no idea why they were outside then).
