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11/08/2003: sort of about high school experiences...
Via metablog I found this entry about LJ, fandom and high school, and what they have (or haven't) in common, which isn't really all that related to this post. However, it got me thinking about US high schools and how, both on US tv (or comics for that matter) and from what some people tell, it appears the social hierarchy can produce rather harsh experiences, especially for geeks. Yet obviously, at least judging from fictionalizations of the high school experience, everybody (including the teenage audience I presume) seems to empathize and identify with the geeks or social outsiders in this setting. The typical teenage hero on tv, in comics, in books more often than not doesn't fit in (and then, in my favorites at least, the fantasy starts and they get some superpowers like Peter Parker, to make up for it, without it really solving anything of course *g*), whereas the "popular" students aren't depicted all that favorably (usually shallow, if not outright mean) etc.
Now, personally I was quite okay with high school, and had a good time overall. I mean, that's not to say that it wasn't awful sometimes, or that there weren't any bullies, or that there weren't lots of cliques or anything, but it certainly wasn't traumatic. Obviously I felt (and still feel) empathy with the fictional heroes who are kind of prototypical for the feeling of alienation and being an outsider, but seeing how common they are, I always figured that pretty much everybody must feel this way, and that my perception of how the others were much more comfortable had to be somewhat skewed. I mean, probably not in all cases baseless, like for example I'm fairly sure at least some of my classmates must have had more success with getting to have some sex in high school than me. Even in my most self-pitying teenage wallows which I poured into my diary I was aware of what I was doing (i.e. wallowing, which let to more ridiculous self-loathing poured into the diary for wallowing instead of actively doing something, and it's really cringe-worthy to reread these cycles, but I guess that goes for most diaries written by self-absorbed teenagers) and that it was fairly typical teenage melodrama.
I'm not saying it didn't feel real or anything, but really you can't help but notice that the theme of being the misunderstood outsider, of being unable to get a date, or whatever, is really, really common. Not that this makes the feeling suck any less, even if you do know it's "normal." Yet I'm starting to wonder about the (fictional cliche of the) popular student. I mean, do they really exist outside the perception of the (naturally unhappy and ostracized feeling) other teenager? Like during high school I certainly perceived other circles as more popular and thought they had a better time, but how does this match with those people's perceptions? For example, looking back at my year I couldn't pinpoint students who were universally popular or anything like that.
Maybe I have problems with the whole "high school as hell" theme, because I've never seen or experienced prolonged or escalating serious bullying myself (personally I was just shoved and intimidated sometimes, and a few times older kids took stuff, once my bike on the way to school, though they gave that back after taunting me for a while, but it was never so bad that I was really uncomfortable or afraid at school), or a student being really humiliated repeatedly over a longer period, though I'm aware that these things can happen. Or maybe it is really different here than in the US, because of how school is organized (at least in my school, it of course might be much different with smaller towns, or different school types, or economic situations in the neighborhood etc): There weren't any any school hours during the afternoon, and extra curricular activities were the exception rather than the norm, there weren't any competitive sport teams (athletes focusing on sports did that in clubs outside the school, the only club that competed for the school with displayed trophies and the like was for chess) and for everybody their social life happened at least partly in activities outside the school structure, all of which lessened the social impact of school. Also these strange US school rituals of "Homecoming Queens" and the like didn't exist at my school, nor did we have any "proms" (just informal parties), unless you count the final celebration after we finished high school as such, and even for that my year didn't have any special celebration like a prom (though that was only because all in my year were too lazy to actually organize anything or didn't want it at all, so nobody wanted it so badly that they'd formed a committee, hence we settled for an informal party, and even there it was difficult to find people willing to do the work, even if it was just getting booze, a sound system and dividing clean-up duty, but I know other schools went for rather more formal affairs).
